Philipines

The missionaries from family mission companies and Philipines came last sunday...The missionaries include Bridget, John D and Janalyn(Ling Ling). I didnt get a chance to meet them not till today.
Adrian called me and invited me to join them for dinner because i told them that i wanted to meet them.I went with a nervours heart thinking how should i react and will i or they recognise me and them.
When i went into the room, they just receive me with hugs, longs hugs and all the I MISS YOU ALOT and how are you? and you look great!
Seriously I felt so good to finally meet them. They bring back old beautiful memories. We had such a magical time together before, serving God and singing praises to God together. It was beautiful.
Now seeing them together makes me miss the two weeks sssssssssooooooo much. I really wish that we can turn back time and go back there again.
Meeting them i ask about everyone i know from Philipines. I heard some good news and bad news too.
I make a promise to myself that before i every leave for UK, i'll go back and see them again. I must go back there...cause there is where my heart is.

Deep Sh*t

I hurt someone yesterday, it was an awful experiance...I was on my way home,really exhausted, burdened, stressed, spiritually dry....I had a feeling a few days ago that something is going to happen. And silly old me didnt pray about it.
Anyway, i was on my way back...i hurt someone...he wasnt really badly hurt just his toe got scratch and he made a huge fuss about it.I was worried about him and apologised and ask how is he...he screamed at me etc etc etc...
Anyway i brought him to the clinic,registered him and wait for his turn. To tell you the truth even though i put on a cool straight face with my head up high like i dont give a damn about things. Inside i was shivering with fear and worry. Million of things run though my head and i was also hoping no one can see my fear.
Anyway the person went in see the doctor, doc say its nothing much...just a small scratch. Cleaned his wound and bandage it and his ok to go...So while waiting for his med...i took out my phone wanting to call someone to comfort me or help me or just to be there for me...but all i did was just stared at the phone. Then something hit me!I dont know who to call...i dont really have anyone to call!!!I mean...i was always there for people whenever they need me, i have friends, good friends actually, loving family....but at that moment...I felt so alone, I know that God is with me in spirit, but i still felt so alone...It was terrible, terrible feeling.
I went back home...cannot sleep..i had terrible nightmares again.But this time its about this incident...
I really pray now that i will never, ever hurt anyone again...NEVER!guilt sucks!

Him

Last night He came and visit me again....this is the third time he visited me. He is always nice and sweet to me, he understands me and loved me so deeply that after i wake up, his love still lingeres around me. In my dream, we talked, we laughed, we bonded. Even though we just talked for a night, but it feels like we have known each other for a lifetime. when i woke up, i felt so dreamy and in a daze...I dont want to wake up from this beautiful dream.
Unfortunately, in reality He is not like how he is in my dream. He is different, like a complete stranger to me, very cold. He is very talented, very musch loved from both gender. It sometimes hurt so much to know that he is not the one that i dream of eventhough they look so alike.
I guess you just cannot mix dreams and reality. haih,,,sad.